Difficult Conversations

Whether it's at a conference table, dinner table, or virtual table, we all eventually face uncomfortable situations or topics that we have to address with people we care about. While you can choose to avoid having discussions altogether, being able to successfully navigate a difficult conversation can bring about positive change and save relationships.

A difficult conversation is a planned discussion about an uncomfortable topic or a negative experience where the goal is to share different perspectives, build mutual understanding, and develop respect (not to persuade or win"). While it's common to want to avoid these conversations, doing so can lead to stress, resentment toward others, and an escalated conflict that becomes harder to resolve. Addressing them skillfully can help strengthen relationships.

Having a difficult conversation is an opportunity to

• Shed light on how to resolve a problem
• Embrace constructive change
• Gain a deeper understanding
• Repair relationships

The key to navigating difficult conversations is to develop and practice effective communication skills. These skills include active listening, assertive speaking, asking good questions, and acknowledging emotions. For more on this, check out our Guide to Having Difficult Conversations below.

While having a difficult conversation, it's important to be

• Willing to listen to other perspectives seriously and respectfully
• Open to adjusting our own perceptions when we are exposed to new information
• Realistic and fair with our expectations 

Check out these resources for more information about difficult conversations.

Conversation Agreements (Living Room Conversations)

Establish a conversation agreement, sometimes called ground rules, to foster effective communication.

Effective Communication Strategies (University of Waterloo)

Learn about barriers to listening and strategies for active listening.

We have to talk. A step-by-step checklist of difficult conversations (Judy Ringer)

Try this step-by-step checklist for difficult conversations.

Don't feel like you can do it yourself? Contact Kathy Murphy to talk about how we can help you.